Sunday, February 6, 2011

Where you invest your love, you invest your life

Hope everyone had nice holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, MLK and groundhog day and all the others since I last wrote. I trust they came and went as everyday comes and goes, in 24 hours. The passage of time since my last blog post was deliberate. Actually, it was only supposed to be for one month. A conversation with my mom prompted me to take a month off and away from correspondence. The provincial house for me had changed from sanctuary to a place of worry and stress that I communicate as much as possible in the short time I was allowed there. The fast/free internet had become a curse as much as blessing. And after all, in the long run, what does it really matter? So, I decided to not write a blog for a month and limit correspondence. Well, it was such a relief that I extended it until now and might do it again. There’s so much that filled the days of these last 3 months. I’ll only highlight them here.

In October (after last blog), I was counted in Zambia’s census! And I got to see the World Series! I had to stay up until midnight or 1 for it to start. No big deal unless you’re used to going to bed around 8. It made me feel weird to see the ballpark at Arlington and Texas skies. There was a twinge of homesickness at seeing something familiar, but also something different that I can’t quite describe that made me fearful of the distance I’ve removed myself from some aspects of that culture. And at the same time it made me really excited to know that someday I’ll be able to go to a baseball game again with my family!

Sometime in November I went to Lake Malawi with 3 amazing ladies (Cherie, Julie, and Allison). We had a blast together and the lake was calm and relaxing. I swam everyday, learned how to play a local game called “Bao,” and got to see the “smoke clouds” of mating termites that swarm in the sky over the lake once a year (this phenomenon is featured on the Freshwater episode of Planet Earth). Later that month, I traveled to Lusaka to get my retainer returned to its proper place. The dentist was very gentle and after I told her from where my doctor thought the retainer had fallen, she chuckled throughout.

In December, Gooey sana had 2 babies! Neither are deformed and I counted to make sure they had the normal number of toes for kitties. A bishop from Zambia was just appointed to Cardinal within the Catholic Church. His name is Cardinal Mazombwe. I think they said he was the first from sub-Saharan Africa. He is from Eastern Province so he traveled around the area saying mass. I got to attend his mass in Lundazi and it was quite beautiful. The people were so excited and gave him many gifts including: 7 goats, 15 chickens, bags and bags of mealie meal (cornmeal) and sugar.

Just before Christmas, my brother, Tanner came for a visit! His visit was so special that I am going to write a separate blog post just for it.

So after he left in January, I stuck around in Lusaka and helped conduct the first week of In-Service Training for the group that is one year behind mine. It was fun and that group has some interesting characters. I really enjoyed seeing other trainers from my group who also came down to help.

On a subsequent trip to Lusaka, I tripped and fractured a bone in my right foot. So I’m currently laid up in Lusaka for a week or so. I’ll hopefully move to the Chipata house later this week, but can’t go to the village until my foot is healed. And Cherie was here with Malaria so it was nice to have someone else around to talk to while confined to the couch. But she has returned to our home district.

I have now crossed into “The Year I Come Home.” My last official day as a Peace Corps Volunteer is September 24. Less than 8 months. The mixed emotions about this can be overwhelming sometimes. The more I love this place, the more I hate it. The more I want to go home, the more I want to stay here. The more memories, good or bad, you collect in a place, the more you feel tied to and connected to it somehow. But then, can’t that sometimes just be sentimentality? Which has its purpose, but shouldn’t be allowed to dictate your decisions. I know I said in a previous post that it is to the prairie I belong, and I’m not denying the deep connection I have to straight horizons, constant breezes, and vast open spaces, but I realize now that though I can make a home, I do not belong to a place any more than it belongs to me. I’m not downplaying the unique qualities or the importance of place, for there is an inextricable link between who you are as a person and the place where you are, I’m just saying that I will not be bound because of a place, be it here or there. I can love and work and play and be myself in any place so long as it is truth I am following.

1 comment:

  1. It seems that a bigger space is opening in you, a sense of being unbound...even as you are tethered to Zambia, to family, to prairie, etc. You are right, you can make a home anywhere...as long as you are growing ever more comfortable in your own skin.

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