Hope everyone had nice holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, MLK and groundhog day and all the others since I last wrote. I trust they came and went as everyday comes and goes, in 24 hours. The passage of time since my last blog post was deliberate. Actually, it was only supposed to be for one month. A conversation with my mom prompted me to take a month off and away from correspondence. The provincial house for me had changed from sanctuary to a place of worry and stress that I communicate as much as possible in the short time I was allowed there. The fast/free internet had become a curse as much as blessing. And after all, in the long run, what does it really matter? So, I decided to not write a blog for a month and limit correspondence. Well, it was such a relief that I extended it until now and might do it again. There’s so much that filled the days of these last 3 months. I’ll only highlight them here.
In October (after last blog), I was counted in
Sometime in November I went to
In December, Gooey
Just before Christmas, my brother, Tanner came for a visit! His visit was so special that I am going to write a separate blog post just for it.
So after he left in January, I stuck around in
On a subsequent trip to
I have now crossed into “The Year I Come Home.” My last official day as a Peace Corps Volunteer is September 24. Less than 8 months. The mixed emotions about this can be overwhelming sometimes. The more I love this place, the more I hate it. The more I want to go home, the more I want to stay here. The more memories, good or bad, you collect in a place, the more you feel tied to and connected to it somehow. But then, can’t that sometimes just be sentimentality? Which has its purpose, but shouldn’t be allowed to dictate your decisions. I know I said in a previous post that it is to the prairie I belong, and I’m not denying the deep connection I have to straight horizons, constant breezes, and vast open spaces, but I realize now that though I can make a home, I do not belong to a place any more than it belongs to me. I’m not downplaying the unique qualities or the importance of place, for there is an inextricable link between who you are as a person and the place where you are, I’m just saying that I will not be bound because of a place, be it here or there. I can love and work and play and be myself in any place so long as it is truth I am following.
It seems that a bigger space is opening in you, a sense of being unbound...even as you are tethered to Zambia, to family, to prairie, etc. You are right, you can make a home anywhere...as long as you are growing ever more comfortable in your own skin.
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